14 years doesn’t it just go bye in a heart beat.
I found a box of medium format negatives and took them to get scanned. These images are between 1999 and 2002 I have had so much fun looking through them but what I have enjoyed the most is the feeling. I actually recall quite vividly how incredibly overjoyed I was developing myself and my craft. I was taking the best photos of the 12 years I had been shooting, I was poor, made no money from photography and I didn’t really care, I was 30 and felt so grown up. I was just so desperate for validation and seemed to always attract negativity like harsh criticism that I held on to and further dramatised ha lucky I sorted that one out gosh that is the hardest lesson. Oh the inspiration I feel the joy the hunger to learn be better I remember with each of these shots the elation I felt of mastering a pose or a connection or a composition. Crossing boundaries of fashion and portrait such a grey area not fitting in anywhere. Trying to be a fashion photographer hating it trying to be a portrait photographer and progress and develop. Slowly watching the digital movement sneak up and threaten the very foundation of Professional Photography as we had known it was frightening. The Unknown.
But I was so hungry starving in fact, to learn, to be better, to strive to push to live and breathe and feel and win. That is what passion is to suffer for your craft. Of course I also learned thats just the dramatic suffering artist that dwells inside of me and you don’t need to suffer to support your self and own a business with great service and clients. But I can’t make apologies for my true self I cry when the sun comes up, would throw down and come up swinging for the people I love, I have always believed that the blue collar worker children had to work harder fight harder run faster, but then my parents always said the world is your oyster and you can have anything you want.
So when I look back I see all the huge lessons the brick walls and the mountains I climbed that were really mole hills and I ask myself today the same question: What do YOU want from this career?
All of these Images shot on Kodak 120 medium format film on the Hasselblad all natural light.
Fact: Charlotte, Nicola, Hayley, Nick and Marie their names werent on the files I remember their names and I remember their stories. What an honour to make pictures of peoples lives.